ep41 - Your Enneagram Type on Social Media

ep41 - Your Enneagram Type on Social Media

show social media social media for creatives social media for entrepreneurs social media marketing May 25, 2022

How does your Enneagram type affect how you show up on social media as a creator and community builder? Listen in to find out! 

In this episode, we cover:

✔️ Each Enneagram type as a leader

✔️ Super powers of each type on social

✔️ Potential pitfalls to avoid for each Enneagram type

 

 

About My Guest:

Jenn Whitmer helps teams and leaders solve conflict and personality clashes. Keynote and TEDx speaker and consultant, she talks about hard topics with infectious joy. Through working with Jenn, people improve communication, work through conflict, and build self-awareness with the Enneagram. She asks big questions that lead to big dreams and big ideas and big living. Usually, that means laughing.

 

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Transcript

Hello, welcome to Megan's Social Media Marketing Show. I am Megan and I was so glad that you are here. Today we have a very special guest and we're going to be talking about a very fun topic. How you as a creator and a community builder, your Enneagram type effects that whole dynamic. So, I will be inviting Jen on here can get her here.

And this is, oh,

I'm so excited to be talking to you. 

I'm still glad to be here today. Thank you.

Oh, this is going to be fun. I'm really excited about it. So for those of us or those of you out there who may not know who Jen is, Jen, would you mind telling us a little bit about yourself and what you do. 

Sure. So I'm John Whitmer and I help teams and leaders, self conflict and personality clashes. And I do that through communication work, but my foundational tool is the Enneagram, which is a personality framework.

So I'm a keynote speaker. I do workshops and I do group coaching around all of those ideas. 

Wonderful. And I, I think I love now all the modern applications of the Enneagram to. So many different aspects of life so I thought, why not, who better to bring on to talk about us? Because really, I truly believe on social media, you as a creator, as an account owner, as a community builder, that is a leadership role.

And. Yeah, and that is something that we need to know to be equipped for. And the Enneagram is just one, one tool, one piece of a puzzle that you can use to help you understand a little bit more about why your, what your motivations are behind things, why you're doing things a certain way. So I think we're going to try to do a whole round robin to all of the, Enneagram types and touch every single one of them. This will be fun. Jen, do you have a favorite. If someone is not familiar with the Enneagram, do you have a favorite, like go-to resource for them? 

Oh, great question. So yes, my account come visit me and I talk about the Enneagram in really nice bite-sized pieces.

I also have a. Coaching program while we're at it,. But if you're just starting out kind of visiting some places online and getting kind of good snippets. So me, but then I also really love a book called The Road Back To You it's a nice little primmer. It's short. It has checklists. It's has descriptors that I think are incredibly valuable to identifying your Enneagram type. Because identifying your Enneagram type is like deciding which map to choose.

Here's the map that I want, and that is part of the process of self discovery. And so I think that book is one of my favorites. There's some great podcasts out there as well. If you like to listen there is one called The Road Back to You that they did in combination with the book. It's several years old, but it's still really good, but there's another one called Enneagram Growth.

And they take panels of people where they have the interview, a bunch of two. So if you're new to the Enneagram they're by numbers one through nine. So they interview a bunch of twos and you kind of get to hear what the two's here, and then you can enrich a bunch of ones and you hear what the ones and, what the nines think, and that's a good way to start introducing yourself to what are these different things and how do people think?

So those are the ones I like.. 

Great. 

Okay. I, yes, all those are great resources. Even just [email protected] itself, there's even assessment on there. That's like a really good one. You know, some of them are a little shallow. Ultimately, even if you take an assessment, it's really up to you as the person to self-identify which map as you put it, you identify the most with.

And I always like to say tests are data points, not deciders. So take the data point. Like, Ooh, here's some information that I get to as the person in charge of me decide, what do I see the most. And a kind of a little hint when you read those descriptions, if one of them goes, ooohhh! I didn't want you to know that about me. That's just one to pay attention to 

agreed. This is true. It's not always a pleasant recognizing the parts of us that we would rather not exactly. Right. Okay. Well, what number do you want to start with?

I do always love to start with the eights. That's right. So one of the things I was like to, if you, I mean, you can at least see my hands when I'm doing other podcasts.

I don't have like slides and visuals for you, but if you imagine a clock like a circle and instead of the 12 being at the top, that's where the nine is. And then they go 9 1 2 3, 4 5, 6, 7, 8. I like to start with the eights for lots of reasons. I think the eights are probably the most misunderstood.

So I like to start with them and give them a lot of love because they're kind of like, give me the deets. Let's go 

They will also check out. 

Oh, there's one that we'll check out more, but we'll get there. 

That's true. 

I like to start at eight and before we start with anybody, you know, one of the things you said, Megan, that I think is so important is that you as a content creator, a community builder, that is a leadership role because I deeply believe we lead ourselves first. I have to lead myself before I can lead anybody else. And that's the great thing about the tool of the Enneagram. So while today we're talking specifically around the idea of being content, creator and entrepreneur. It applies to every area of your life. You have to lead yourself first. And when we talk about the eight leading, one of the motivations of the eights is to protect and control.

They don't need to be in controlled or in control, but they definitely don't want to be controlled. So that's this nuance that's really important for eights. And the way that shows up, I think. In our business life is like I have to do all the things. I see all the things that have to be done and I have to be the one to do them because I can't trust anybody else to do them well.

And that is a big trap for Enneagram eights and the, the trick, like the little nugget to start making that difference is learning to build trust with some other people doing that type of collaboration, work, learning how to give away some of your tasks to maybe a VA. Or somebody else that you bring on your team because what will happen to you is that you have to do everything and you have to be the one in control you're going to burn out and you won't be, have a sustainable.

Online your community, your community will also start to sense that there's no room for me here. If only if it's only your way now, granted, it's your place. Like you do get to set the boundaries, but you also want to welcome some people in and your community will start to sense if you're the one that's just in control rather than inviting them in.

They're like, I don't know if there's space for me here. I might head someplace else. 

Right. Yeah. There's and correct me if I'm wrong. Or if you feel like this manifests itself differently, but you don't want it to be the Mr. H show or Ms. H show because then they will start not to feel like it. Do I say, I mean, you're a great, you're an entertaining and whole, but where is this a community?

Am I welcoming? Like you want to leave room and open, open for that may not be as inherently, you know, first nature. 

I think one of the things that can be really great for eights is to start sharing little pieces of themselves, that vulnerability. If you know, Joe Saxton just accident is an eight. She talks about being an eight and I think she does an excellent job of sharing the things that are "here's where I may have messed that up," which can be terrifying for an eight, because that feels like I'm not in control. But what we find is that actually brings connection to people and they're like, oh, I can mess up too, because normally you're trying to help them do something. And they're like, oh, you can help me do that thing.

Cause you messed that thing up. And now, you know, and, and so that's one just that sharing and vulnerability can be really powerful for the Enneagram eight.

Yeah. And I love, but on on the flip side, right? What's the positive side of being an eight as a community leader and social creator. 

I think eights get more.

I don't know how eights get as much time as they do. Like they just, they see it all. And the thing that I think is so positive about an eight is that eight often. inherently understand the big picture. So for some people it's like, oh, do I post on my story? Do I post on LinkedIn? Do I have my Facebook group? Eights

like see it as a system almost inherently when they, and they're like, oh, here's where my community does this and this and this. And that is such a powerful tool to see the system of the community that you're creating and the content that you're creating. I think eights are really good at knowing here's where I want to share that.

And I want to share this over here and here's how they fit together. And I think that's a really powerful, positive of Enneagram eights 

agreed. Absolutely. Okay. So which way are we going around the clock? I like to 

then go to the nines peacemaker as right. So Enneagram nines are deeply motivated by connection.

And the kind of the flip side of that is this fear of conflict. And so this is the push pull of the Enneagram nine. And one little piece that I think is. Sometimes gets overlooked. Ironically. When we talk about enneagram nines that they really don't want to be overlooked. So they have this tension of, I want to, I don't want to be overlooked, so I want to share, but if I share and you disagree with me, then there might be conflict.

So I'm just going to pull back. That is incredibly challenging in a, in a space like this, where we're basically trying to establish authority that I can share information with you and you have to take a stance. You have to have a take. 

Hi, I have been told by Enneagram nines, like they will be your biggest comment reader.

They will read all the things of all the people, but they will not comment themselves. They might like, like, like, like, like, like, like, you know, because you're not going to challenge that, but you know, they may not be the comment. They will be your most avid reader and encourager for sure. But yeah, total sense.

Absolutely. I have a dear friend that Enneagram nine and she doesn't even have like a profile picture on her, on her Instagram. She's not a content creator, but she's a dear friend and I see her little gray profile space all the time in my stories. And I just text her all the time, but yeah. Such an Enneagram nine posture, they kind of withdraw and observe to make sure they, they don't upset the apple cart.

That's really important to them. And the positive to that is that Enneagram nines. Are amazing at building community because they see the connections and they genuinely see all the different viewpoints and how they can, they can come together. They want to build that peaceful community and they can see, oh, I see how you see that.

Why see how you see that. And they can really share from these different perspectives, which helps them even within a very clarified niche, talk to different types of people. And that's a real superpower when they've become very aware of that. 

Oh yes. It is amazing to me, how t hey can do that. It's the push of the pool, as sorry, not to, you know, like totally reveal spoiler alert.

I'm a one like, I'm like, come on, you know, I'm like you have such a great superpower, as you said, ' if you're like,, understanding and seeing everybody's viewpoint, being able to bring it back, like share with us yours, you know? 

But I think one of the things that's so great about Enneagram nines, when they finally decide, yes, this is what I'm doing.

It's almost always full of a lot of wisdom. Like they kind of, they just move into that space. And what I'm always wanting to encourage them to do is move to that space a little sooner. Like it's never really going to feel comfortable. So do it when it feels uncomfortable. Cause it's, you're not probably ever going to feel like, okay, it's time versus.

The kind of the negative, not negative, but the unhealthy, like it comes out sideways is, an enneagram nine will just lose their mind because they finally have been pushed to the edge and now you're going to hear it all. And it usually doesn't come out the way anybody wants, including the nine. So talking about it before you feel comfortable and taking your stance on the topic.

It's really powerful. I mean, if you're a graphic designer and you're sure you're like, I like this type of design for a very specific reason, share that with us, because that's what we want to know about you. Can, you clearly tell I'm not a graphic designer, terrible choice of things. 

I know, I love that when I pick I'm like pretend you're a financial planner and then I try to go and look up examples..

I'm like, I have no idea 

why I love the graphic designers in my world. I am not one.

Okay, well then we go to the Reformer or let's not use perfectionist. That's not my favorite label. 

That's fine. Fine. Yeah. I've liked the idea of reform because one is always trying to make things better. That's really what that core motivation is, is they really want to make things better. And the tension for the one is if I don't make it better than I'm not good.

And that's the lie, the trap that they can get into and be. So when they're wanting to make things better, that is an amazing positive in a community. Like I want to help you do the thing and I have found the way to help you do the thing. Like that's the key piece of the Enneagram one. Like I have done your research for you.

I have found the check boxes and if you just listen to me, it will work. The downside to that is for them. If they feel like they haven't done enough, if they haven't found the next, the perfect right way, then how can I even possibly share it? That's the tension and pull for the one. And the great thing is they usually find all the amazing stuff for us. I mean, I love following you, Megan, because I'm like, I know it's going to be good and right. And my favorite thing about your email is you tell me if it's worth my time is it really worth my time for this. That is such a super power of the one and where they get stuck is it has to be perfect when they start getting into that.

It has to be perfect. Then oftentimes there's withdraw. I'm just going to pull back. I don't really know. And so they stop being consistent. They stop contributing and people feel like, I mean, are they, are they doing this? They don't really know. And that can be a real talent when you're building a community. Yeah. 

And that, and that can be difficult because of the nature of social media. It is always changing. There's always something new. So you're never, and that's kind of like, it's both the drawback and I'm kind of where the freedom for me comes in. It's like, nobody knows what their. Like really, you know, so just try, just try it. Nobody knows nobody is like, Granted, like, I call myself a social media expert for how long.

I've been doing it, but am I an expert in using the new template feature in this room? No, nobody that just came out. Nobody's an expert on that. I don't know. 

I was like, oh, I got to watch Megan figure this out so I can figure it out.. And it's so true. And I think one of the things also that is really helpful for Enneagram ones.

I'm curious if you do this, but I encourage my Enneagram ones that once they, when they get to that mindset, because then even ones have the strong inner critic that I've posted something. And then the inner critic is like, that was terrible. You shouldn't have said that there were two mistakes in there and nobody's going to want that.

And people are like, there's this like, Ooh, thing to happen. That if that's too hard for you to stop on your own, have a trusted friend that you're like, I just posted the thing, my critic going crazy. Encouraged me for a moment and just ask for help. I have a dear friend, who's an Enneagram one and a content creator.

She's also a farmer and she posts a lot about what's happening on the farm. And then she's like, oh no, what about the, and I was like, it's totally great. This is good. You know? And, I think that person in your life is really helpful. as an Enneagram one.

 Oh, yeah, absolutely. Have your hype squad. I have a hype squad. I'm like, is this good? They're like Okay, good. Okay. 

Yes. Everyone, I think needs a hype squad, but particularly. You know, if you're, if you have that critic, 

you got that critic that critic can be so loud. And as much as you're like, sit down, take several seats. I do not want to listen to you and you can do that on your own. You sometimes just need more voices to counteract it.

And that's what that hype squad is so important. Help me know that that critic is lying to you and moving the goal. 

Yeah, I was Enneagram one tends to we're present, present people. We live in the present. We're very much here now on this thing, you know? So it helps to either, or either like how much success you've had in the future.

Like, look at this, it will be fine. Or. Hey, what's the next fun thing, because go to your seven. What's the next fun thing. What's fun. Let's do something fun now. 

Yeah, absolutely. And I think tapping into that fun is so important and a daily way for like, find a place that is fun for you. It may or may not be related to your business, but if it can be that's even better, you know, like just find the thing that's fun and it doesn't matter if anybody else thinks it's fun, it's fun for you. And that will pull people in. 

Love it. Okay. Well, My neighbor, the two helper, 

I have such a soft spot for twos. One, cause I'm married to two. I've had a lot of twos as clients and I just I adore twos and Enneagram to have this deep love of helping other people. They are always wanting too much like ones make it better.

But they want to make it better. So you feel good? So it's like this. Oh, I feel so good. It's like, they're like a continual hype squat. And so they're, unfortunately they're doing that much of the time, so they don't feel rejected. So this kind of push pull in their mind is if I help you, then you won't reject me.

And that's how I'm going to get my validation and worth. And so Enneagram twos are great at building community, but they sometimes are. They, I wouldn't say sometimes Enneagram twos are always needing to work on boundaries. And so when that comes to your business, it can go a couple of different ways. You can neglect your business because you're doing everything for every.

And they've asked you to do this thing, your kids, your family, your neighbor, another business bestie, is that, you know, like you're doing things and you're like, oh, I'm just going to help them. I'm going to help them. And you don't do your work. That is your needs, what you wanted to do and why you started this company.

And so it can happen that way. And it can also be inside of your business. You're giving so much either giving so much away for free or giving away so much time. You're coaching people in the DMS. You're offering the entire Sunday on the first discovery call rather than a scoop, you know, like you're just such a, such a giving, giving, giving space.

And what the trick is to remind yourself as that doesn't make them love me more like as an Enneagram two, I am still. Worthy of love and significance, even if I don't help them in this area. And that's really challenging for so I think they build this amazing community. I mean, talk about getting a two as a hype squad person, a hundred percent.

They are such great encouragers and supporters. I find a lot of two's work in that VA space that like online business management, because they are really good at those types of building blocks. Just to make sure that that Enneagram two is setting some clear boundaries. Like getting the boundaries around when I were, what I'm willing to do, what is, what is no fee?

What is, what is paid? What is for consumption? What is myself, those types of boundaries and the best question. Suzanne Stabile has to be a list of one of my favorite Enneagram teachers, she says all the time for twos to ask what is mine to do? What is mine to do and that's everybody, but for twos, it helps them start to delineate.

Did they ask for my help? Is this mine to do right starts to bring them back from that 

one that is especially hard with social media in particular. because number one. I mean, there's a literal chemical addiction. We can have to feed back to that. That dopamine hit. You got people respond to you and you help them.

And it's great. And you, you know, yes, absolutely. Everybody needs to set boundaries around it. As you said, twos in particular having like real life grounding away from maybe you take a day off every week, whatever it is that that works for you, but setting those and really sticking to them. 

Absolutely.

Absolutely. I love my twos. 

Yes. Oh yeah. There's no better feeling than getting loved on by two. 

How about our threes.

Our threes, the achievers. I feel like Enneagram threes were designed for our social media business. Like I'm probably, yeah. And I have lots of thoughts and theories around that. So I'll get to them, but to hear new to the Enneagram and you're like, okay, so what is a three, a three has this motivation to achieve, to be the best to to be the one that meets the goals and crushes everything like girl boss, all day walking, motivational posters of the Enneagram.

That's, that's what they're doing. And their drawback is they. Much like the twos. If I don't help, I'm going to be rejected and I won't have worth. And then your in threes are thinking subconsciously. And you know, they're thinking if I don't achieve that, I don't have worth my achievements or my worth. And I think the reason Enneagram threes were so designed for this type of business is because a lot of them started it.

Like that's where it came from and our broader American culture is a big three culture. So it just seems natural to them. You know, the fish and water idea. They don't know that they're wet because that's where they always are. And so for threes, it can be incredibly challenging because if that's the soup, we're all swimming in.

Not sure how many analogies I can mix there, but if that's, if that's the super, all swimming in, for threes that's also their natural bent. It can be very challenging to pull back. So threes are great at like, I'm going to set this goal. I'm going to achieve it. Here are the steps to get there and we're going to knock it out and I'm going to move to the next thing.

And so they achieve really well, but much like the eights, they're going to burn out. If they don't. Start to separate their worth from their achievements. Those have to be two different things. And that is just huge for them as a Lifework, because as an entrepreneur, I mean, we both know we could we're living and working in our homes where a lot of people are now there, but as an entrepreneur, that's probably always been the case.

And so it's always the ability to be always on is. Uh, click away. I opened this thing. I carry around in my pocket and that just goes into the Vainglory three. So they also have to start to separate with boundaries, but really reminding themselves that they are a human being and not a human doing thing that separates them is incredibly important for Enneagram threes.

Yeah. I've been told by three close to me that. If they can't see how they can win in a situation, they will. Ghost you, so 

you, no, well, let's own it. Say it because it's true. Yeah. 

You know, and they, they were very much like I understand. And they were referring to someone that like, I understand why this person did that because I, I felt that same way and that, you know, so that, that could also be a temptation if they're not winning for whatever reasons.

They could just be like, man, I'm out. You know, so noticing when that's happening. Yeah, exactly. Is, is huge. That was a huge insight. When I got that, I was like, thank you for that, because that, you know, it is, it was, yeah. So much. I was able to see, you know, threes with much more empathy and clarity after that.

And so much like one, sometimes people have a hard time typing themselves between ones and thirties, because neither one of them particularly care for criticism. We can just leave the door. Thank you very much. But ones they feel like they're not good now, because you've critiqued what I was doing. And I shouldn't have seen that already.

I should've already been there. Whereas threes are like, you are attacking my character as a person, because that's my goal, my goal and my worth are connected. And so that can be really challenging too. If they receive a negative comment or from somebody that they're interacting with all of a sudden, now I can just ghost you, because now I feel critiqued as well.

So not only do I feel like a failure, which is the hardest thing for a three now I've received something that is negative. And I don't totally know what to do with that. That can just be a real challenge right now. 

Yeah. And Same goes for like ways to counteract that or stay in it. I mean, having you were saying the boundaries, but also someone in threes is very crucial.

Usually the have a life partner or someone close to them that they actually let them see the real them because they have that mask on most times they're come into a room. How do I win in this situation? How, like, where's the power. You know, kind of like putting that on and having that person in your real life, who knows you, the real actual you have that you can go to and, and be the real you ,reconnect.

Take that mask down. You can relax into that. So that is super key. And actually also spending time alone, like, oh me, I have where I don't need to impress anybody else. I. Because one of the hard things for threes is tapping into their own genuine values because they're like, oh, you need this, you need this, you need this, you need this, which makes them great on social media because they're giving to everybody, but oh, what do I actually want?

What are my values that time alone? So partnered with somebody who really sees the real you, that is a powerhouse. Yeah, for sure. 

Wow. Okay. So. Enneagram four, the individualist, 

I love to call fours the romantic individualists. They just have such a. An intense view of the world. That's either incredibly rosy or absolutely not.

And it's just The highs are really high and the lows are really low. And that comes from this deep motivation to not be emotionally abandoned, connected, not abandoned, but emotionally connected. Like I want to connect emotionally. I want you to see me. I want to see you. And this idea that I have to do it a special way.

I'm going to do it the special way. That unique way that's different than anyone else can do. 

Very authentic to me. It has to my unique authenticity, 

exactly. Giggling about it, but fours are like yeah, and it feels, it feels normal to them and it can feel intense to other people and, but it draws us in. Nobody's doing it like that.

You talk about this differently, you express so much of who you are and there's this deep, deep authenticity. One of the people that is in hope writers that were both a part of that I love following is Tiffany Marie, because she does these things in this unique way. She talks about being childless.

She talks about being a homemaker. She talks about her cats and it's nothing like anybody else who talks about. Because it's so unique to her and that draws us in and that's the superpower of the four, because in the place where everybody's like, what, what is your problem? What's your help statement?

What do you like? The things that we all do need to do? They come out differently and you're like, oh, they almost naturally have that stand out ability. 

Oh, yeah. They automatically know, like in coaching sessions that I have with fours over there. So social media, I never have to have the, let's find you a unique niche conversation.

They automatically immediately know how to connect with their person emotionally, for sure. But also like you were saying in that unique way. And I mean, I always, like the flip side is. Well, I don't want to do it like this because everybody else does it. Like. So it's kind of also, but leave. Yes. Do your thing was you, you are uniquely gifted to do, but also don't buck against the system and things that are just like, listen, we all got the reality, you know, so there's, there's that tension.

That's a perfect description of it. It is a tension and it is not insignificant tension. So like for fours, it is genuinely something they wrestle with. And so that, that empathy for a, four so like if you're a foreigner listening, w we're empathetic to that it. That is not like, oh, it's just attention. You got to get over it.

That is a tension that you lived with. And that's the challenge. And knowing that, and kind of the reframe as an Enneagram seven, the reframe that I've helped fours with is I can get my unique position out if I do it the way other people can hear it. So like that kind of like, oh, this is a way to make it more seen to get the message out, do it this way.

I can have my unique voice heard and seen. And so that kind of tension that reframe can be really helpful to, right. This is where I'm going to do what everybody else does, even though it feels like a tiny little death. but I, it makes it bigger for me to be seen in the way that. 

And there are, for example, Reels, you know, there are many yes.

Angry wars, like, Ooh, because it's like trending, that's trending. Cause everybody's posting that thing and I'm like, yes. However, how can we take the, I mean, you are rewarded on social media for being unique. Like that is absolutely something you're rewarded for. So how can we take. This thing and make it yours and make it unique and make it like nobody else has done it.

So, I mean, you don't have to do it this way, but posting a Reel is beneficial to you. So let's find your own way to do it. That will stand out in a crowd. Yeah. Absolutely valuable.. 

Yes. I think the other thing that any grand fours should watch for is that if it can't be this perfect unique expression of who I am, then I'm not going to do it.

Right. And so kind of pushing through that sometimes trials. like, I'm just gonna try it, like, but what if that's not the most unique way? What if it's not fully me and that idea of like you don't, we don't always know what's fully us. We walk it out. So that's a way to help Enneagram fours really move forward.

And like I is this fully me? Let's try. Let's see if that's all 

love that. Yes. Okay. So we are going to traverse the existential hole. The huge gap between fours and fives are investigators. Yeah. I mean, I have a soft spot for every single, every single Enneagram type, but fives are just different guys. 

Okay.

All right. And here's the thing that is so amazing about any Enneagram, five who is showing up on social media? Well done. You I'm just going to say it. So if you're listening and you're a five, I am applauding your competency because Enneagram fives are deeply motivated to know. Deeply, like not to be a know it all like in this puffy way, but like this deep, if I don't know, I'm not safe way.

I have to know. And they're also immensely private. So any Enneagram five who is coming onto social media or has a business like this, where they say words out loud to other people that could be refuted possibly. And they're sharing part of themselves. That is amazing. so it's a huge, it's a huge moment of bravery for five because they often will wait until they feel completely secure and that doesn't usually ever come.

And so moving into that is really, really powerful for fives. And I think the super power of fives is making social media, not light and fluffy. I think we all get tired of like the. Just do this and it'll all be fine. And you know, I, there's a few fives that I follow and I, like, I just get deep into the nerdy brain science of it.

And it makes, it gives roots to some of the other things that I follow and like, I know that this is right, because this five told me these deeper aspects of it. And I think they give us when they are really healthy and practicing what I like to call intellectual empathy. This idea that I know this, but I want to put it in a way that you can understand it.

I just love that when fives really get to that space, I think it's incredibly powerful. 

Yes. I love the knowledge that they bring in their ability to, I don't think they're always known for this, but they, like you were saying, the fives that I follow that I'm just enraptured with. They just, they just out of nowhere come with these huge, like, aha.

I never thought of it that far, but I, I trust them because I know they've done their homework. 

Yes. Totally. 

Like, you know, even just that little, like they have these store houses, warehouses information back there and just opening up one folder will blow your whole followers minds. Like honestly, so. They never have content idea issues.

That's never, never, never the issue. But I think just, they also, I, and I could be, I don't know, I I'm projecting on this because I haven't actually heard this from a five, but I think they think what they know is like, 

everybody knows that and it's yes, it's true. That's kind of, it's like, no, no.

Yeah, I think the other thing to help fives get over a little bit of that. Like privacy, if I share this, people will need things for me. That the hard thing for fives is to first of all, just like we talked about set real clear boundaries. Here's what I'm on here's when I'm not, but also fives are often very funny and.

They get into their humor and they might think it's humor, but it's not like we, I love it when I follow my my friend Tiana, Ty is five, she's an organizational psychologist and she helps set teams together. So she's deep into the psychology part of it. Cause she's hilarious. And. Just a great example of somebody who taps into the humor of sharing deep information.

And I think it's so powerful when fives do it that way. Okay. Yeah, 

absolutely. Absolutely. talking about funny, I think sixes are the least given the least credit for how funny they are. I would absolutely love the loyalist. They are hi-larious most the time because they know that they're, they have some eggs and they're not afraid.

About it. They're very self-deprecating, which is even more endearing to us all. So I'm sorry. I kind of jumped the gun. 

It was a great segue. I think of my Enneagram six clients, and I've probably cried in coaching sessions from laughter only during an Enneagram six call. So, yes, I would agree with you. So are Enneagram sixes, as Megan said, the loyalist, I like to also call them the loyal skeptic, because they kind of are a little skeptical of things.

But once they're not, even when they are loyal, they can still be skeptical, but they kind of get in and once they're in. With a six, you're in, like we're committed. And so that makes them great community builders. And especially when they share, like you said, they like to share about their own anxiety, their own angst about life, because what they do is they share that with all of us and we're all like, oh yeah, I feel that too.

So that emotional connection, different from the fours. Cause the fours are almost like intentionally I'm gonna connect with you. And six is like, here I am. And everybody's like, yes, I am that too. And they're kind of. It's like, they become the, every man, every woman character when they share who they really they are.

And that is the superpower of Enneagram sixes. I think they're also really great at due diligence. Like they're not going to share something with you that they haven't checked out, that they haven't vetted because they don't want to lead you astray. They don't want to get blamed for it. That's like the dark side of it, but they really genuinely want to help you.

And the sixes are helping. It's such a powerful community builder because they are thinking about the community. I think the thing sixes struggle with it's like we talked about the Instagram one internal critic Enneagram sixes have like this internal committee oh, you should have done this. You could do this, you could do this, you could do this.

And that can be exhausting. And so finding someone like Megan. Okay. Here's what we're going to stick with this. Here's why we're going to do it. It has been checked out, you know, that's so helpful on social and to try it for a while and kind of stick with it. Like, let's just keep trying this until it starts to work, that that persistence can be challenging for sixes.

When they hear all this I'm going to change this, I'm gonna change That can trip up a six. Yeah, they're the two, the 

two on the Enneagram, iHeart is time making decisions with the nines and the sixes

That can be very trying. No one, one of the things that I've, I've heard from sixes as that because they're usually always looking for who's the authority, like who is the authority here? It is difficult sometimes for them to step up and be that authority. Is there any kind of like, guidance to you and say for that?

Yeah, so I think there's a couple different things. One that comes over time and start to choose to step up and say, I can do this. I have this ability. And I think when we talked about ones, like we're just in the present, like we're just a thing right now. So we're sixes and they can get caught up in that like, oh, I don't, I'm not very good at making decisions.

I don't, I can't leave it this way is to start keeping a record. The things you did well, like to go back. Yeah. And say, oh yeah, I did do that well. I said that I was going to do 20 social media posts in the next month. And look, I have 19 and it's the 20th. I, you know, like, oh, I have done this thing. That builds that courage muscle quite a bit.

So because sometimes because Enneagram sixes are so focused on other people finding that within yourself, like I have done that is really powerful for, for stepping up and being that authority. 

Yeah, absolutely. All right. Well, we saved the best for last, right? 

What were the first of all, if you're not talking about us, so we got into tricky in to stay all the way to the end,

Enneagram seven. So what did you call this happens? I have all kinds of names as a seven. I have all kinds of names. Oh 

my gosh. I mean, usually it's enthusiastic. 

I like to call us the enthusiastic visionaries or the epicures. I also really love that name because it's all about kind of building experience

um, so I think on social, the Enneagram sevens are really afraid of being trapped, like trapped in a space being limited or missing out. So. That brings this idea of fear. Like I'm going to be trapped in this pain forever. That can perseverance really thing. So they are like a little bit like sixes, like, oh, it's not working.

It's not working. Sevens are like this isn't fun anymore. I'm moving on. And that can really trip up a seven in a business because there are lots of times where it just goes down and you have to keep plotting. But what makes seven so great as a community builder and a leader is they genuinely are usually, includers like, you want to have fun? Come have fun with me.

We're going to have so much fun. Like we're gonna learn this thing and. That is so appealing to people because I don't know a lot of sevens that have to work really hard at being joyful. That's just kind of part of the character, but what we do see is the future. We're like, oh, I'm going to look out here and , I can build this vision for my business this is another really powerful tool where sevens can get up is like, oh, what are the steps to get there?

What is the perseverance to get there doing like, oh, I've got this great idea. I call it my Starburst mind. I'm like this idea and this idea and this idea, and I'm always afraid. I'm going to forget the idea. And so for any, from sevens, tell them to have like dream bucket, like a dream list or an idea list, something that helps you, that brainstorm space, that sevens are so great at.

But I can't do it all now, but I don't want to lose that idea and just keep it. You can go back to that. Post-it that notebook that Google doc something that you're like not gone for forever. And sometimes you go back and you're like, that is perfect for where I am. Now. I can pull that idea out and use it now.

And sometimes you're like, that idea is not, doesn't work more and that's okay. All the ideas are still there. And I think that's a really helpful tool for Enneagram sevens business to help them stay focused on the thing that they're supposed to be doing. Cause we can get easily distracted by the new button idea.

Why 

don't lose 'em. You don't have to forget 'em. It's not even that you can't chase it. Just put them in the bucket, I like that. The joy bucket, whatever you want to call it. 

Yes. 

Yeah. I just call them a notebook. I just write stuff down in there. But and you know, like, oh, if I did this course, that could be really cool if I created this Reel that could be great. You know, then I just don't lose it. I may not ever go back and do it. Sometimes I do. I'm like, oh, that's really perfect, but I don't get anxious about losing this great idea.

Because one of the anxieties of the seven is this, all this next thing is going to be the thing it's going to be the thing. So even though I logically know that's not true, if I keep it somewhere, it just solves that angsty problem. I don't spend time worrying about. 

That's good. That's really good insight from the actual seven.

Sounds. Fantastic. Well, thank you for taking us on a tour of the entire Enneagram there. It was a whole journey. I enjoyed every single detour. 

What? A detour from an Enneagram seven. I can't imagine. I know 

that's okay. Yeah, there were, we should've had like road trial snacks. I mean, you know, all the things 

when I was an educator, one of my favorite partners I ever worked with and my whole life was an Enneagram one. And we used to joke that she was 1, 2, 3, and I was fluidly bicycle three, and we would get there.

I totally different way, but we always were together on getting to the goal and that it was just one of my most favorite working in working engagements ever. Oh, that's 

fantastic. Well, Jen, tell us how we can. Follow you support you, maybe some resources that you might have for anyone listening here wants to dive in deeper.

Yeah, absolutely. So here on Instagram, here I am Jennifer Whitmer. I posted a few times a week, usually about the Enneagram and leader conflict resolution and community. Those are the cause I'm trying to help you apply the Enneagram to your real life, walking around the world, drinking your water life. And so those are the resources that I love to give you.

So there's lots on my feed. My website has some really great resources for you. So I think one for today, that would be awesome. It's called why do I keep this? Which is a tour of the Enneagram motivations. It kind of picked up some of the motivations and our talk today and really applied them to social media.

But this is just a little booklet. It's the road back to you as like a hundred, some odd page book seems a little too much. And like you just want a six page, little starter that is for you. And you can go to the link in my bio and go free resources and it will be there. So I think those are the best things for our discussion today.

Wonderful. Well, thank you so much. I enjoyed it so much and go soak, soaking her wisdom. It will always be fun. I guarantee you that it will always be fun. So thank you so much for being here today. Jen, I really enjoyed it. 

Thanks for having me, Megan. All right. Bye-bye bye.